Body Positive: Single Mom Edition

A few weeks ago comments about my body particularly references to me being fat were made. My first thought was to combat that bullying with my humor. Something along the lines of ummm hi ya I prefer medieval thick. And then when the humor wore off and the reality set it in I began to spiral. Well ya I am at the the heaviest I’ve been while not pregnant. I work out daily. I feel good. I feel strong. But ya I do carry weight. Just like my mom did at my age. She always says my body is waiting to carry a baby and when those hormones go away I’ll thin out. I’m just a thicker girl. I always have been. Big legs, fat ass, tiny waist. That’s what I have always been.

I’ve been in this love hate despise relationship with my body. And it is a struggle every single day. Clothes don’t fit me right. Brands sizes are all over the place. I know people edit their bodies like crazy with apps and yet I have stayed true to who I am. I enjoy food, I work crazy hours, I work out, I’m strong and I’m a good ass mom! But that three letter word tore me apart. I instantly went into this ok how do I share this experience in a positive light. I still am trying to figure that all out. But what I do know is that I am healthy. REALLY FREAKING HEALTHY! Hell I got approved for some Cadillac shit life insurance I’m so healthy. Second, my son is happy. Third, I’m normal. I live a world where women every day tear other women down to make themselves feel better and guess what it usually doesn’t work. I’m normal so much that I have two hernias from an appendix removal, pregnancy and csection shelf. I want a tummy tuck but don’t want to pay for it. I want my hernias repaired because they are growing but that is a 12 week recovery. I’m a single mom who works her ass off every single day and I’m building a brand around being normal.

At the peak of this spiral I reached out to Liz with Black Pineapple photography! And I was like ok I have this idea for a body positive photo shoot and I need your help to execute. My self esteem is low and I don’t feel sexy or beautiful right now. She came through when I needed help the most. Don’t get me wrong when she returned the photos I was like ohhhh look my hernias. But then I saw a woman who has overcome so much in the last 3 years. So when you start to feel alone please know our bodies most days feel like our enemies but we must love them back. We must protect our peace. My hope from this shoot is you see my flaws because I know I do but realize every body has a different body and we all see negatives but no one and I mean no one is perfect. This is real life.

Every body is a bikini body and I will always be here cheering you on!

-Jessica